Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Yeah. I was about to call 911 but I ended up breaking the door frame off then ran and puked all the way home.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Randomize
