I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
My mom made me write an apology letter to all my family for hijacking the eggnog.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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