I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
whose parrot is this?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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