you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
