The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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