$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He told me I remind him of his ex girlfriend but in a better more advanced way..
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
So I thought you might like to hear how I went to sams club to print some pictures and suddenly there was 20 pictures of your dick and my snatch on the screen
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