Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
I used his number to look up his customer information at work. He's no longer saved as Magic Penis in my phone.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
