he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Randomize
