Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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