I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I'm home with mono, wearing knee high socks, shorts, a stained old shirt, and a surgical mask. He comes over ANYWAY with soup, a gas mask, billions of DVDs, and eats me out. He's either stupid, whipped, or i'm just THAT good.
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Come share oat with me in your robe
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
