Say something about gay babies.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I know the wedding is going to be a good time, I don't have to wear a bra with my dress
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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