i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Randomize
