Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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