I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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