Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
Dan is more possessive of me than a Michael Jackson is of McCully Caulkin
was*
True, R.I.P.
i wore my purity necklace wen we fucked. but its ok cuz simplified was blasting in the background
hahahaha. im glad listening to simplified justifies breaking ur promise to god
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize