There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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