No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Randomize
