At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
I should be sponsored by Trojan
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
