my mom walked in on my vaccuming.......i wasnt vaccumming
I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
