Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
When health care reform is passed, I'm throwing a kegger
You are the reason we need health care reform
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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