I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
he peed everywhere. it's like having a puppy.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
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