and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
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