I think I just saw someone hide a body.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
