Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Just to circumvent as much mood-killing as possible, you are allowed a small amount of laughter at my pubic hair. Too much and I revoke your vagina privileges until you can get your shit together.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
Randomize
