I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
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