Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
