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Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
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