Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Burnt my boob on a piece of hot waffle at work today..I feel like thats a new low point in my career..
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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