Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
