Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
she peed on how many people?
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
Well then she has to know whoever you were kissing was in overalls because that's not a detail you just leave out.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
