he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
the last three girls i tried to get with all believed in abstinence... i think gods trying to keep me from being a father
i think girls just don't want to fuck you
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
Randomize
