I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
Randomize
