i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
