at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
Randomize
