so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
lol hangovers are for mortals.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize