And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
Randomize
