She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
We named our party play list daddy issues
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
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