we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
