We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
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She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
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I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
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