i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Randomize
