there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
Randomize
