maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
Randomize
