Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
