hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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