Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
I will die if light touches me.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I have a date tonight... Like a real date... Not the kind where you just go over to his house and have sex and then never speak again.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
Randomize
