Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
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