with your own penis?
dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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