Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
