hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
