I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
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