I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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