he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
Randomize