Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
No I dont want him to bring his twin brother, cause then ill have to entertain him with my vagina
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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