I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Alive.
So much puke
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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