what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
I really don't want to. I just don't know how to nicely say "dude I'm having a rough time in life right now and I just need to dress like a stripper cop, get shit faced, and have dirty crazy sex"
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Randomize
