There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
wow thanks for pushing me towards an older man
you gotta start somewhere if you're going to be a trophy wife
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
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