ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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