my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Whatever. I just smoked another bowl so I don't care and wow I just noticed how fast my thumb moves when I text. I'm amazing.
i've created a new STD.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Randomize
