You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
