I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Randomize
