Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Seriously, even though I keep it clean, I could douse it in bleach and set it on fire and still not be comfortable with you actually holding it. It's been in my VAGINA.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
