my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
Just got a blowjob from a coed in exchange for saving her an iPhone 5 when I get them in stock. Sometimes it's awesome to be a Verizon employee.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
