So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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