I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
Randomize
