So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Randomize
