he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
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