we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
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